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  • Writer's pictureSarah Egan

Shifts & Shadows, Densities & Darkness.

Updated: Dec 7, 2023


Just like a caterpillar metamorphosis into a butterfly, like technology makes big breakthroughs and science rewrites itself over and over. We, the Earth and the universe are all connected consciousness which transmute, transform, and tumble all over the place on a pathway to evolution, and ascension from 3D to 4D & 5D.


Let's take a look at what it is to have 3D, 4D and 5D awareness.

3D means third density, 4D, fourth density and 5D, fifth density. It sounds like it's a linear thing, although it's actually not, nor are they worse or better than each other, they're states of awarenesses and consciousness.


When we're in 3D we're concerned and occupied about how we look to the outside world, we feel separated from others, and we have no desire to go within and understand who we are. We tend to be consumed by material stuff.

We've all been there! 😊

Everybody has their own journey so there's no judgement here. If people prefer to stay in 3D awareness, well, that's absolutely fine, because that's their plan and that's where they're supposed to learn here in this lifetime.


I remember when I was going through my ''awakening'' I wanted everybody else to understand, and I wanted everybody else to go on the journey too. I felt that I might just help this person and that person if they understood the bigger picture. Needless to say, I discovered the hard way, lol, that people don't listen, we can try and try and try to lead people on the journey that we're on, but unless they're ready, unless they find the curiosity or the want and need to go on that journey, they just won't.

If you're one of those people who finds it really frustrating because somebody won't listen to you, or they won't go inwards or they're not looking at their shadow selves or nurturing their inner child, I'd like to kindly suggest backing off a little for now, as they're on a different path, give them the space to take the steps when their time comes.


Let's look at 4D consciousness, this is when we begin to expand our awareness and ''wake up'', when I say wake up, I mean that we gain a deeper understanding of who we are, why we're here on this earth, our thoughts, and we start to realise that our thoughts can have a direct or indirect impact on our reality. We start to appreciate the world more. We see things as learnings, rather than being a victim, or feeling sorry for ourselves.


Then as we move into 5D, we develop a much stronger intuition and higher consciousness. We have a deep inner awareness as we innately know, hear, feel, or see a vision as guidance. We find a beautiful, harmonious balance at this stage. We still dream, dream big and we're guided by our own spiritual and life path and do what feels authentic. We love everyone and everything in the universe and experience the journey to unity while learning how to be both a separate, sovereign and independent being and part of a group and a whole.


As I was mentioned at the beginning of this healing story, we, as well as the earth are going through a massive shift, an ascension of the world of Gaia, and it hasn't been easy. As you can see, all around the world, there are lots of free punches in the face, everywhere you go figuratively speaking of course, lol.

Take a look around your circles or even at yourself and see if you can notice any big changes or chaotic shifts.

Can you see any little butterflies trying to shake off their shadow self cocoons?

Are any of your friends or family or workmates having nervous breakdowns more so than usual?

Any deep inner child emotions or teenage heartbreaks trying to resurface and spark insecurity in your relationships today?


The process of ascension is bursting our awareness of our shadow selves, right open and bringing all kinds of icky feelings to the surface. It's not nice, but it's necessary.


Many parts of the world are in the absolute pits, from wars, to shady governments, and COVID, to recessions. So it doesn't matter where, what are who we are, we're all universal energy, we're all in this world together. Not only energetically speaking, but also on this physical Earth. We're here together, like a nice little bowl of puke, waiting for the badness to be boiled away, in order for us to regain our truth, and our healing. And our return to source.


As above, so below, as within so without.


We are all made of the same universal energy, all woven together like a tapestry of energies. So, it's only normal that we're going through an individual turbulence as well as the world. It's only normal that, not only is the world upended on the news every minute of the day, but there are things bubbling up in ourselves as well. As the world is ascending, we need to go into our inner darkness in order to heal, in order to let go of heavy, irrelevant energy that we don't need anymore. It's expected that every little thing might be testing our patience much more than the ordinary. It's like before we start to ascend, we're kind of descending into doom and gloom.

It feels like we're taking 10 steps back after all the work we've done on ourselves before, it seems like all the hard work we've done has been thrown down the drain. Rest assured, it definitely hasn't. It's all part of the process, I promise.


So honestly, don't worry, all the work that we've been doing on ourselves is not wasted. Our tender inner child can pop up and say, Oh, hi! every now and again, hand in hand with our shadow self, the part of ourselves that we repress, and we learn to push away and hide as we go through life.


Now's the chance to really embrace both of them. All the uneasy, irritated, restless parts of ourselves, the parts of ourselves that we can't be alone with, the fragments of ourselves that piss us the hell off. We need to really embrace these parts now because now is the time, now is the time to heal in order to ascend.


What I've been doing on my journey through this shadowy time, is to actually embrace it. I try to bring my awareness to those uncomfortable sensations, those insecure and vulnerable bubbles that just float up and leave me in a state of utter uncomfortableness.


I'll give you an example of a recent thing that happened to me. A few weekends ago, I started to feel a little bit jealous in a certain situation. I was like, what is this? What's happening here? I really was quite baffled! Where was this coming from?

I started to try to control what was happening that day, I just was not myself at all.

Now, I had been on a 24-hour, fast, I was fasting along with having my little healing stones beside me during that 24 hours, so they could have been working their magic too.


My boyfriend and I went to view a house since we're planning to buy one, this should have been an exciting day, and it was in the beginning, but in the end, I basically had the worst day ever. Looking back, I definitely went through some kind of emotional shift, a healing maybe, and my shadow self certainly took a little peek out into the world along with my little inner child.

Lots of different emotions showed up, sadness, anger, frustration and jealousy.


I eventually just ended up crying because I needed to let it all out.

I was gonna cry whether I wanted to or not, there was no way I could have held it in. I just cried it all out and let it go. Released it and let it go.


Then I got out my voice journal. I also wrote it down just to reinforce it,

What the hell is happening here?

How is the feeling I have now connected to any possible shadow part of me?

What are the needs of my inner child now?

Am I trying to control too much?

Is my ego taking over?

Am I acting out of my own interest?

How can I acknowledge learn and heal from this and not run away, not repress those feelings and embrace this feeling?

How can I embrace and transmute this dark part of me?

How can I embrace both the light and the dark within me?


Those were the questions I asked myself and girl, I'll tell you, I got a lot of answers, answers that I had never even imagined came up. It seemed that old wounds from my teenage years had surfaced. That jealousy was an inner child would that I had completely forgotten about and suppressed, and it was projecting on to that situation that day.

I felt like I was able to liberate that inner child wound, having become aware of it and thereafter, change the story and nurture my inner child.


So I invite you to do that as well.

Anything that annoys you, anything that gets on your nerves, any uncomfortable emotions of feelings, write them all down and ask yourself these questions, see what you'll get, you'll be surprised.


That's just one example of my lovely little shadow self and inner child hunt.

When similar situations crop up, I journal journal journal, explore, brainstorm and even break a pencil!

Then I rewrite my story. I tell my inner child that it's okay, I'm here for her to give her the biggest squeeziest hug, and tell her it wasn't her fault. It's all a part of the strengthening process. It's all a part of the plan and that my shadow self is necessary to balance with the light.


As within, so without, as above, so below.


What's happening in the world can also be happening within us. So when uncomfortable things pop up, I really invite you to ask yourself those questions I asked.


Create a lovely ''me time'' self-care space, make it a ritual and really go deep. This is all connected to ancestral healing and trauma too and all of the work that we do on ourselves today, is also going to benefit the world, the universal energy because we're all connected, we are all the same energy. We're all in this together, like a cloud. We're all the little particles in the cloud, all connected.


When we work on ourselves, we free ourselves from those low energies and those things that block us from having healthy relationships, not allowing our self worth to grow. We also pave the way for our children and future generations. The examples that we show people of how we treat ourselves, can help others see and learn.


If you'd like any help with this, please reach out. You're more than welcome to join my community, on my website . Please feel free to reach out on instagram too. You're not alone. Everybody is going through something and we're in it together.


Sending you the biggest squeezy hugs and love in the whole world.


Take care!




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