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  • Writer's pictureSarah Egan

It is what it is, or is it?

Ever heard the expression 'It is what it is' ? Which, as we all know, means that's the way things are and we can't change it. That´s it, finito!?

Does it always have to be that way though? Are we succumbing to helpless situations or is there really anything we can't do to change either the situation or how we look at the situation?

We all live with different worldly views which all have different possibilities and solutions.

So maybe there is a way out of enslaving to undesirable circumstances, maybe there is an escape from trying to adapt to what we don't want.

Accept: a willingness to tolerate a difficult situation (one of the definitions)

Resign: to accept that something undesirable cannot be avoided (one of the definitions)

A lot of the time, we think that we are accepting a situation when in truth we are resigning ourselves to it, fighting against it. Two very different concepts that often tend to be confused over time. Resignation is confused with acceptance when we go through certain life changes, we settle in a place, in a couple, in a job, in a role or we settle in dynamics of loneliness or hyper-sociability but in truth we are not moving in the direction of our true desire, and in fact, quite the opposite. 

Resignation is a form of enslavement of circumstances. The difference between resignation and acceptance is our attitude.

Starting from the base that nobody adapts to what they don't want, resignation will lead us to suffering and to the sensation of oppression, of feeling trapped and can generate a constant struggle within us.

When we come to accept a situation, even though we dislike it, it means that have reached the stage where we can do something to change it, or we are in the position to think about or view it differently in which that makes us happier.

Let's look at an example of a relationship which has broken up, this can be extremely difficult to face and accept, especially when there's an overwhelming sense of abandonment.

In the case of resignation, we suffer, we get angry with life and with the world, we don't accept it, or the break up. We can even invest so many hours of the day thinking about the situation and how to modify it.

Active acceptance means to stop suffering, to not feel angry, and to set up course for our life again, which follows and that has much more to offer, in this case, acceptance is the final stage of a healthy struggle.

Yes I accept.

It is not the most favourable nor typical responses we tend to choose but it is the key to achieving a certain degree of well-being.

Life shocks us with a wide range of sad, distressing or very painful circumstances where we feel the helplessness of not being able to do anything or even find a way out. 

When we accept these situations rather than resign ourselves, it doesn't mean we are giving up, or conforming, or being defeated, it means liberation, inner peace, joy and optimism.

What little or big thing can you start to accept in your daily life that you're struggling to? 

-Your Life Drive

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