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  • Writer's pictureSarah Egan

Empowering Alone

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself- Ralph Waldo Emmerson

One of the biggest fundamental struggles I have recently come across with my clients is being alone with themselves.

Being alone scares a lot of us, it conjures a sense of dread and isolation when we don't have people there to talk to, the TV to watch or something to distract us from from our own selves and inner thoughts; and many of us choose to live in a state of chronic distraction from our experiences. In fact, a recent study, conducted by Timothy Wilson, a social psychologist at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville showed that people would rather give themselves electric shocks than be alone with their thoughts for just 15 minutes. How does that sound?

What I've been guiding my clients to search for is to find out why and where the discomfort of solitude comes from. Is it true feelings of loneliness or something else? If it’s the former, we explore what that means for them and come to the realization that loneliness can be usually traced back to an unpleasant experience or past memory.

To truly understand what makes being alone so painful, we must try to recognize that it comes from a deeper situation — no matter how uncomfortable it may be to do so.

If you are alone and guiding yourself through this experience try to focus on any thoughts and emotions that come up through mindfulness, be in the moment and fully feel the depths of the emotions, let them speak to you, experience the emotions profoundly. Write them down on paper or in a journal.

You’re a valuable person, and you don’t need the approval of anyone else for that to be true. When you’re alone, remind yourself that it’s because you choose to be, you're not weird or strange if you choose to be alone. It really is your own choice.

You are enough and complete and were born that way in pure love.

Sometimes we just need a break, alone in a beautiful and peaceful place to figure everything out.

Those who fly solo have the strongest wings.

''You alone are enough'' Oprah Winfrey

-Your Life Drive

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