Chapter two from a series of chapters based on a true story about how, through the toughest times, we discovered the power of our breath and stillness.
Have a listen to the podcast version here.
There's no right or wrong way to go about this, I reassured Andrés, it's about allowing, acceptance, awareness and breathing deeply. So, let's give it a bash, I said, trying to contain my enthusiasm and play it down a little.
Deep down I was overly glad to hear that Andrés was willing to try out mindfulness and/or meditation, since I'd been practically begging him to try it out ever since I'd met him. It's something that I always tend to preach about to everyone in my life. I claim it's the solution to nearly all problems, it's a natural high, it's the closest you get to the deepest love you've ever felt, next to loving another human or animal, it reduces stress, anxiety & improves relationships, the benefits are actually endless.
But the thing is, no matter how much or hard I try to promote this life-changing practice, no matter how many health, mind and emotional benefits it has, I've learnt that not everyone is open to giving mindfulness or meditation a go, regardless of any life-changing benefits. I've learnt that I just have to let people discover their own things and their own practices when they're ready for them. The only thing I can do is suggest things once, or lead by example, but that's it! Plus, to be honest, I really don't waanna come across as pushing things on people either.
So, down we lay on the bed, and I start off by guiding both Andres and I towards focusing on our breaths, while increasingly breathing deeper and deeper for about four minutes. This helps loosen out any tension, slow down our minds, and calm down our nervous systems, which lead to lowering stress, worry and anxiety.
Then, I move on to acknowledging any sounds that we can hear around us, what textures we can feel with our fingers, what tastes we might have in our mouths, or emotions we may be feeling. We then gradually bring our awareness from the exterior world to our interior selves.
I start to move slowly through a body scan, starting with our eyes, noticing how heavy and relaxed our eyelids feel, then moving to the top of our heads and becoming aware of how comfortable it feels on the pillow, then moving down our backs, our spine, and moving our awareness slowly all the way down to our legs and to our toes...
I can't stop thinking! Andres, bursts out suddenly. My mind keeps racing and racing and I just can't seem to focus!
He seemed frustrated and a bit disappointed.
There's no need to worry, I said, as calmly and comforting as possible. How did that deep breathing make you feel at the beginning? I asked Andres.
The deep breathing helped my nerves, he said, it's just when we went on to the awareness building, that my mind started racing again. I feel like a failure, he said. So, I gave him a big, squeezy hug.
He's a person who's really demanding of himself and always wants to be the best at everything he does, so it's normal that he felt so upset.
Let me assure you, I said to Andres, that we actually got off to a great start, focusing on our breaths, going deeper, and calming down our nervous system which is a really good start, so well done!
Let's just take small steps...
It isn't the first time I've come across a situation like this, in fact, a lot of my clients and students have struggled to focus on clearing their thoughts, especially when thoughts keep whirlwinding through their minds about what they need to do, where they have to go and who they must call regarding this, that and the other.
All of this is absolutely and utterly normal!
We are currently living in a world where time has sped up so fast, work loads have gotten heavier, expectations higher, and time seems to sneakily sieve through the day right before our multi-tasking eyes.
So, how can we find the time for our daily lives and families, never mind mindfulness or meditation?
Find out exactly how to do the impossible; next week in chapter 3 where Andres and I both discover a super simple, funny and perfect time to incorporate mindfulness and meditation into our days.
Comments