What you really really want - in the words of the Spice girls.
There used to be a time of my life where I was quite indecisive about almost everything, but now I'm not so sure! hehe (Joke!)
Laid back and easy going I would have named it rather than indecisive but realistically I was pretty much away with the fairies not knowing where I was going. Some of my closest friends back then were fairly laid back too, just as equal if not more indecisive than I (they now might beg to differ) and because of this we tended to just wander around like aimless sheep in the breeze not pushing ourselves to do exciting things like elephant trekking in Thailand or scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. We weren't really bothered nor knew what we wanted to do so we tended to just go with the aimless flow which suited us completely fine!
Some say it comes with age although while growing up I distinctively remember those who just knew what they wanted to do, wanted to be, wanted to go, exactly what they wanted to drink, eat and seemed very clear about it. Even nowadays when I'm teaching kids I often ask them if they know what they to be when they grow up and funnily enough, at the age of 5, some of them actually do! (lucky for some ey!?)
Others say knowing what you want comes with experience; experience in what though?
Like one day when you wake up, you make a decision to decide and then just do that every day? I found that one hard to pinpoint as there are just so many choices.
And even some of us grow up being told not to want so much, to stop wanting everything we can't have and to be happy with what we've already got!
"Be happy with what you've got! Don't be a spoilt brat wanting everything!"
And then later on in life we are supposed to know what we want after being told not to want so much! Where's the bloody logic there!?
An unconscious resistance is built towards wanting through shame and embarrassment from wanting too many things growing up.
Like a dog chasing it's tail trying to reach it's ears- it makes no sense!
So when was it when I first started to find out what I really wanted in life, or in the supermarket, at the bar, or even for dinner? Honestly? I looked around at other people's lives and thought ...hmmm that looks good! I want that. I want what she has, what he does for a living and to go to the school she goes to, and that's honestly how it started.
I remember a gorgeous girl living in my estate who I admired so much, she was so pretty. She always had this red and grey uniform on, I had no idea what school it was but I wanted to go to that school.
I remember watching TV and this program where everyone was on holidays in Ibiza having the times of their lives with the best music, fun, sea, sand and freedom and I thought, I want to go there, live there and do what they're doing.
I remember my aunt travelling around the world to different countries and exotic cultures. I clearly remember my Grandmam taking the map of the world out and we would follow her around the world. through the map.
I remember thinking- I want to do that!
We have one shot at life, one shot at finding what we want, one shot at making the most of our lives, and it's never too late! Even if your 72.
So ask your self this: If money was completely taken off the table and there were no bills to pay, mouths to feed and you didn't give a shit what people thought, what is it that you would love to be doing with your life? What do you love? What makes your heart sing and happiness flow? Who's life do you wish you had?
Is there anyone that you envy as you would love to be doing what they do?
Why do you love what they have and what steps do you need to take to have what they have? (let's not lose gratitude for what we've already got and give more of that everyday BUT IT'S OKAY TO WANT MORE!)
-Your Life Drive.